"Put 'em up or I'll shoot," he said, pointing a Saturday night special at me. "Do what I say and no one gets hurt."

"Whoa, take it easy big fella," I said as I raised by hands above my head. It looked like I was in a pickle. I decided to bite the bullet and play along.

"Don't go postal on me, pal, I aim to please. What's mine is yours. Don't work yourself into a lather, or we'll just have a world of trouble. Let's make a deal."

"Keep your hands in the air where I can see 'em, Lady." This guy was beginning to sound like a broken record.

"Yeah, yeah, I get the picture. Take it easy. Your wish is my command. Help me to help you." I have to admit, he was pushing my buttons. "What do you want?" That was the $64,000 question.

"Give me the money and nobody gets hurt."

"Sure. We'll go 50/50, even Stevens, right down the middle with it."

"Huh?" He definitely wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.

"Well, I was here first." I stuck my own gun under his nose.

"You mean."

"I wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this. I've been casing the joint. Waiting for my lucky break. Decided tonight's the night. Then you walked into the place and I thought, no use crying over spilled milk, might as well let you in on the deal. A little give and take never hurt anybody, that's my motto. Let's go for it."

He looked like a bull in a china shop. I could tell his head was spinning as he tried to decide what to do. He could have turned me down; the big ox had at least 100 pounds on me and the bigger gun. But like I said before, he was a few fries short of a Happy Meal. He agreed to do the split.

"Well, no time like the present," I said as we walked over to the cash register in the Curl Up and Dye Beauty Salon.

It sure wasn't a cash cow and you can bet your bottom dollar we weren't going to be rolling in dough from this heist, but we made out all right. The place did big business during the day with the blue-haired crowd.

"Another day, another dollar," I said. "Let's make like a tree and leave."

The big galoot was grinning from ear to ear. Yep, the lights were on but there's nobody home. Still, he had the face of an angel and was as beautiful as the day is long. A real diamond in the rough. So what if he was dumber than a box of rocks, he was still finer than frog hair. A knockout. I'm not one to wear my heart on my sleeve, but I'd fallen head over heels.

Quiet as church mice, we snuck out the back door, the money burning a hole in our pockets. We walked through the alley, arm in arm. "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," I said to my new squeeze and apple of my eye. We laughed all the way to the bank.