Herd-like, the class headed for the cafeteria.

"So, uh, Mona, how're you doin'?" I asked my pretty classmate.

A demure smile, downcast eyes, she was obviously as shy as I surmised.

Since I had a receptive, if not cornered, audience I proceeded to wow her with my wisdom and intellect. Even insinuated a few puns and clever remarks.

She laughed gently.

"I'm getting over," I told myself.

Encouraged, I continued. "So let me tell you about…blah, blah, blah." Who knows what I said?

Ever health-conscious, I had brought along an apple rather than partake in the typical vending machine poison. Tan, fit, sporting a particularly impressive moustache, I knew I looked as good as I thought I did.

"Oh yeah, I'm really into nutrition," I offered. "I work out at least three times a week at the gym."

The slight arch of her eyebrow, and her quick glance up and down my torso told me Mona was pleased with what she heard and saw.

"Yup, I bench press…blah, blah, blah."

I took a big bite of the apple.

Her eyes were riveted on my every word.

"And the reason you have to include complex carbs…blah, blah, blah." The more I ran my mouth the more points I seemed to score. She couldn't take her eyes off me.

Mona's gaze continued to follow my every word. My self-assurance knew no bounds. "Jeez, I'm good," I assured myself.

Between bites of the apple I regaled Mona with how wonderful I was.

Her eyes never veered from my face. She never looked away.

"I've got her, I'm going in for the kill."

As the time to return to class approached, I felt supremely confident.

"So, Mona." I still had her rapt attention. "Want to get together after class to continue our conversation?"

"Oh no," she smiled. "I don't think we have much to talk about."

"Uh, I don't understand," I stammered. "I was under the impression you were interested in everything I said."

"No, silly," she laughed - much less shyly this time. "I was just wondering how long you could talk before that piece of apple fell out of your mustache." She shook her head and turned to walk toward class.

I headed for the gym.