|If you visit my home on any old day
"It looks very nice!" I'm sure you would say.
But that's where you're wrong, there's a spy in my house
He's hidden somewhere - I don't think it's my spouse!
Hidden away there's a spy-hole or two
I know at least one brings the kitchen in view.
And how do I know that we're being observed?
I'm jumpy and nasty and completely unnerved.
The markets are watching each thing that I try,
And their spy reports all that I say and I buy.
As soon as they find that I like anything,
This spy's on the phone and gives them a ring.
"Move the big plums, he's found where they are!
"Switch them with jelly beans, and move the plums far.
"He's put some of those fruits on the list he just writ,
"So make sure they are gone, we'll give him a fit!"
And that is what happens - when I visit the store,
And look in the spot where plums were before.
Cause there before wondering eyes is a scene
Of jellybeans red and jellybeans green!
As I said at the start, it s a puzzle to us,
Why a giant corporation is making this fuss.
But, as it's only myself and my 40-year spouse,
It s gotta be her - cause there's a spy in the house!