Eligible ghosts must presently personify the soul of a human (Homo sapiens, although other Hominidae will be considered) and whose domicile is congruent with the domicile of such human represented. Other eligible edifices or structures are offices, schools, ships (sunk or abandoned), planes, automobiles, and trailer parks if an applicant ghost can corroborate that said abode could be legally defined as a domicile according to IRS guidelines. Ghosts must be willing and able to leave said domicile and travel internationally to the locations of the study (Tower of London, Ellsinore Castle). We sincerely regret that ghosts of other mammillae are not eligible for this study.

Happy, cheerful or friendly ghosts, displaying Casperian qualities must validate that their current ranking is in the lowest quartile on the Landers-Van Buren normative socialization scale. Poltergeists will be considered on an individual basis and will be require to sign a waiver disclaiming all extraneous activity during the duration of the study. Ghouls are eligible only if they return to a defined abode (see definition above) after nocturnal visits to cemeteries, burial grounds or memorial parks. Angels in any manifestation (dominations, powers, Seraphim, Cherubim, guardian, et al) will not be accepted for this study since ipso facto they cannot be identified with an individual soul or essence per se. Devils and daemons (demons) are excluded for the same reason. Generalized, fictional ghosts of literature and/or the cinema (e.g., the Ghost of Christmas Past, a sea captain of Mrs. Muir's acquaintance) cannot participate since they don't exist. Witches, or any affiliated member of a coven, and also any member of the genus of elves, gnomes, goblins (hobgoblins), leprechauns, nymphs, ouphes, pixies, sprites and trolls are, by definition, already socialized. Please do not apply.

The SCAN will accept applications and nominations beginning immediately and until all available positions are filled. SCAN will employ the firm of Ghostbusters, Inc. of New York City in the event of characteristic discrepancies or incongruities. Their decisions will be definitive and irrevocable. All requisite paraphernalia (ouija boards, mist (fog, vapor), restraints (chains, manacles, shackles), brooms, blood, bones and any emetic substance (vomit, drool) essential for the study will be furnished by CAT:SCAN for standardization purposes and quality control. Do not bring your own. Crucifixes, crosses, amulets and other talismans, including cellular phones, will not be allowed in, around, about, or near the laboratories since they could adversely affect on-going experiments.

The CAT has arranged for The Brown Lady to give the opening address in Raynham Hall and Dr. Mary Worth and Leslie Ruth will chair some paranormal sessions.

If you are a ghost, you already know where to apply. Correspondence should be addressed to Dr. John Walsh. Please respond only in writing (no invisible ink please), no emails, and telepathic calls will be not be accepted under any circumstances. Any special dietary concerns (kosher, vegetarian) should be noted in the application as well as any handicapping conditions (three arms, two heads or no brain). Any ghost having participated in equivalent studies in the previous millennium is not eligible. Ghosts selected for this study will be notified preternaturally.

Thank you for continued interest.