The plant was on the northern coast of the island. One night I went out and found myself in a small gritty bar a few miles south of the town of Arecibo. Unbeknownst to me there is an enormous observatory in the area as well. The observatory is the home a radio telescope that is a 1000 ft wide bowl-shaped dish set into an existing concavity in the landscape. In fact, I'm not positive, but I think they used shots of it in a James Bond movie so the observatory has some valuable screen time to fall back on should that whole "exploration of space thing" go bad for it.

The telescope is apparently quite the place to be if you are into the whole "what is the universe all about" discussion. So maybe it wasn't all that surprising that over in a corner of this little bar there was a group of some of the greatest minds on the topic of the universe. There was that guy in the wheelchair, Steve and another fellow named Skip (I think), who were having a heated discussion about wormholes and black holes and even white holes. There were others there as well and all of them were somewhat liquored up.

This made what would normally be a boring exchange of ideas on a cosmic level into shouting match that had the potential for real violence. The other physicists at the table seemed to sense this as well, and were egging Steve and Skip on, often switching sides in the middle of the discussion. It was loud enough that I couldn't help but listen in and absorb some of their great notions concerning the universe. These notions were made somehow more powerful by their alcohol slurred speech and frequently violent, suggestive hand gestures.

Apparently there seems to be a consensus, that there are "super immense black holes" at the center of many, if not all galaxies. These holes are sort of the axle on which the whole galaxy turns. Skip was discussing this idea at length when Steve asked why someone thought it was necessary to qualify these black holes as being "super immense" when even the most conservative among them agree even the small ones are fairly big. He wanted to know who decided that "super black hole" or "immense black hole" was somehow not descriptive enough and you needed to have both of them together to make the point. Steve then suggested the name "super-duper, immensely big black hole" was probably closer to capturing just how much space was being taken up by these things. In any event, they agreed that getting caught in one would probably be a bad thing as everything entering one is infinitely stretched out and reduced to a singularity. As if that were not bad enough, (given the distortions in time within the holes), you inevitably enter them too late and arrive too early, at whatever is at the end of these things. Not to mention the strict size limitations for carry-on luggage.

Skip, it seems decided not to rise to Steve's baiting and went on to discuss his favorite subject, wormholes. He felt that wormholes had the potential for supplying a means to travel through space and time but were unpredictable and could close the moment you entered them. If this happened, you were probably dead, or wishing you were and there was a real potential that you could lose your parking space. Skip deduced that you needed to find some way of keeping the "holes" open using "exotic matter", which is really a cute name for something that no one has discovered yet. Steve suggested, that perhaps Skip could purchase this "stuff that doesn't exist" at the "store that isn't there" and maybe he could get some beef jerky while he was out. Meanwhile, one of Skip's buddies surreptitiously attached baseball cards to the spokes of Steve's wheelchair, while another emptied a bowl of beer nuts down the back of his shirt.

Undeterred, Steve distracted the besotted crowd by opening up a dialogue concerning how black holes were created, while one of his friends dropped his gum in Skip's hair. Steve pointed out that black holes may not only be created by collapsed stars, but may occur whenever any celestial body reaches the appropriate density and in some instances these increases need not be all that significant. Steve suggested that it was possible that even the earth could become a black whole if everyone on the planet put on 17 pounds and didn't shower for week.

Steve then went on to speculate about 'white holes" which are the exact opposite of black holes. If a black hole is something that nothing, not even light can escape, then a white hole is a phenomenon that nothing can approach, not even light. Skip pointed out that not surprisingly, no one has ever seen a white hole or is likely too, and unless it turns out to be the place where you get his "exotic matter", some might consider the whole idea "silly" and threw an ashtray at Steve. In response Steve told Skip to stuff his "exotic matter" and ran over his foot with his wheelchair, baseball cards clicking away all the while.

After that punches were thrown, windows were broken as some of the greatest thinkers in world shattered beer bottles over each other's heads. For my part, my mind was forever expanded and I got to watch a bar fight too. That night, I slept like an enlightened baby.