There is Willie who would give you the shirt right off his back
But his kids are going hungry and they're living in a shack.
Now Willie is plain ignorant, but if ignorance is bliss
He's happier than I am, now how do you figure this?

There's a miser living near me and I hear he is so tight
That he still has his first dollar and he sleeps with it at night.
Maybe he's saving it for later but it's later than he knows.
No need to pay him all I owe him, he can't take it when he goes.

My neighbor, she's a talker, you can't get a word edgewise
And her jabbering gets so boring, it's much like exercise.
How can people talk so much and then stand back and gloat
With nerve to say I talked the horns right off my billy goat?

On the people I know well I could almost write a book
You can see them every way you turn if you will only look.
They say it takes all kind of Joes to give this world a twirl.
But why do all the zany kooks end up in my small world?