When will I ever be free
To live life as it's meant to be?

Free whiskey, free beer, free women too,
And daily freedom from the human zoo.

Instead I'm stuck here grading tests,
Only halfway done by little pests.

The boys are unruly, the girls are cute,
Oh how I wish they'd all be mute.

I want to drink and dance and sing
And take my girl out on a fling.

But oh, alas, I'm locked inside,
Dumped on by life's full muddy tide.

No woman loves me, no booze to drink,
Just and endless sea of bright red ink.

The bell has run and I must go,
Maybe tonight it will heavily snow

And give me a day off from this prison!
Ah. How easily false hope has arisen.