I use my computer for email and word processing. I look up the news and I play games on Yahoo. My son-in-law set everything up nicely and I love it, although I don't know its inner workings.

Now I was in a new world of instant messaging and I didn't know how to get out.

I deleted the program. The messages stopped and I considered the problem over. Didn't I know? I'm only a grandmother.

I came home from an afternoon out shopping for a new bra. This, I know how to do. I turned on the computer, expecting a lovely afternoon of Solitaire.

Bing, Ping, Bing greeted me. I deleted the message.

Ping, Bing, Ping.

Delete

Bing, Ping, Bing. He was back - he was torturing me. I did not respond. Ping. I screamed, marveled at the determination of youth and finally I read it. "Skool's out ha ha".

His name was hockey_kid 368. I wasn't sure how to tell him to go away, so I tentatively typed in, "Jesse is not here. I am his grandmother," I hit enter and it vanished. It was either in cyberspace or on hockey_kid 368's screen. Ha! He received it.

"I don't get it".

"I'm Jesse's grandmother. He isn't here."

"I don't get it."

"I was away. Jesse used my computer. Now he isn't here."

"I don't get it."

"Jesse isn't here."

"Good 4 u. Skools out."

"No, this isn't Jesse. He isn't here."

"Good one Jess."

"No, really. This is Jesse's grandmother"

"Good one Jess ha ha Jess's granny."

Silent sigh of acceptance. He wasn't going to get it.

I thought this was time to take advantage of a bad situation.

"Okay, this is rather fun. I have never done an instant message before. So, hockey_guy 368, what do you think of the NHL trying to cut down on violence on the ice?'

Pause

"I don't think it's good."

I was having a conversation! This was my chance to speak like a grandmother without anyone laughing at me.

"Gosh, if we don't stop these fights, the hockey rink will become a boxing ring!" (Read this with a grandmotherly tone, a lecturing superior sort of preachy voice.)

Pause

Long Pause

"Bye Jess's Grandma."

He got it, but I was almost sorry this exchange was over. The Brave New World was short lived, but I put my toe into it and did not flinch.

Next week I'll pimp my ride.