|"You goin' to Tommy's party on Saturday?" Mike asked.|
"Nah," Jared said. "My mom won't let me."
Jared sighed. Mike was new. His family moved to Newberg that summer. Mrs. Crandall assigned them to sit together on the first day of school. They'd walked to school together every day since.
Jared sometimes hated having Mike around. Mike was cool enough, he had some really sweet games for his Playstation. It was just a pain to have to explain things that were obvious to everyone else.
"Tommy's mom is a vampire," Jared said.
"Nuh-uh," Mike said. "I've seen her, she came and picked Tommy up for his dentist appointment."
"She's totally a vampire. Ask anyone."
The rest of the way to school, Mike couldn't think of anything else. He was excited by the idea of knowing a family of vampires. He knew that there had to be a reason they'd moved to Newberg. His last school didn't have any vampires. It was just haunted by the ghost of a gym teacher and even that wasn't that cool. It didn't make the walls bleed or jump out from around corners or make you watch weird experimental movies. It would just blow a whistle sometimes and make some kids climb the rope.
When they got to school, Mike looked around for anyone who could verify Jared's story. He saw Ashley and Vanessa talking near the flagpole. Mike ran over to them.
"Hey, you know Tommy Jenkins?" he asked while he was still about 10 feet away.
"Yeah," the girls answered.
"Well...um...is his mom a vampire?"
"Uh, okay, thanks."
Mike walked slowly back to Jared. He scratched his head. "How'd she pick Tommy up from school? Wait! It wasn't really his mom, right? It was like a - a like human slave, right? Like a zombie, right?"
"Nah, it was his mom."
"So...so...so she's like a daytime vampire?"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, if she's in the right light she kinda sparkles, I guess." Jared shrugged.
"So she ever like kill a guy and drink his blood?" Mike said excitedly.
"Nah, I don't think she's that kind of vampire."
"Oh," Mike said disappointed.
"One time I saw her bite into a two liter of Coke and suck it dry."
"I guess that's kinda cool."
"Does she at least turn into stuff? Like bats and stuff?"
Jared shook his head.
"What kind of crappy vampire is she?" Mike yelled.
"I know, that's why my mom won't let me go. She won't let me associate with the occult until it starts being more bad ass. I mean, don't even talk to her about the Kadsakians."
"What's wrong with the Kadsakians?"
Jared shrugged. "That's why David's got so much back hair."
"Oh, I thought they were just Armenian."